There was a time when the core of human life was built around family, relatives, neighbors, and shared responsibilities. Decisions were collective, celebrations were communal, and life was filled with “we.” The idea of self was always embedded within a larger community, and our values were shaped by how others thought, how others felt. But today, that sense of collective life seems to be fading. What has taken its place is a quiet but powerful shift toward something else—something called personalization.

This notion of personalization has grown in parallel with the rise of modern technology. It started subtly—perhaps with music apps suggesting what I might like, or newsfeeds showing me only the opinions that match mine. Then it moved deeper. Now, my phone knows when I sleep, what I watch, what I think. Everything around me is tailored to me. Social media became the platform where “I” became the hero. My photo, my opinion, my likes, my world—everything revolves around me. We have placed ourselves at the center of the digital universe.

And this shift has social consequences that we can no longer ignore. Our families are shrinking, our social circles are thinning. People are increasingly choosing solitude over society. Friendship, marriage, even basic conversations—these are becoming more difficult, more fragile. Because true relationships demand adjustment, compromise, empathy. But personalization doesn’t ask for any of that. It asks you only to listen to yourself, focus on yourself, and prioritize yourself above all.

The deeper danger, however, lies in how this culture is affecting our capacity to accept others. If someone doesn’t think like me, speak like me, or believe what I believe, I find it hard to tolerate them. My worldview becomes the only correct view. Any deviation becomes a threat. And that is a problem. Because society is made of differences, not similarities. Yet personalization is making us intolerant to difference.

Now, we are stepping into a new phase—artificial intelligence. With every click and every scroll, AI is getting better at knowing us. Our music, our mood, our needs. Chatbots are replacing real conversations. Algorithms are filtering reality. I recently read a study that said younger people today prefer chatting with bots over real friends—because bots don’t argue, don’t judge, and always say something positive. That is scary. Because human relationships are not always smooth—but they are real. Bots are convenient. People are complex.

So where is this leading us? A world where we are all in love with ourselves? A generation that only listens to what it wants to hear? A society that cannot accept disagreement, cannot accept “the other”? I worry that the next generation may be so used to this comfort of personalization that the very idea of sharing space, sharing thoughts, or sharing life becomes too much to ask.

Already, many young people are deciding not to marry—not because of economic hardship alone, but because relationships require adjustment. And adjustment means stepping out of “me” into “we.” But if technology continues to pamper the individual so completely, will we lose the capacity to live with others at all?

To be clear, personalization is not inherently evil. It has benefits. It can make services more efficient, life more convenient. But when taken to an extreme, it becomes isolating. It builds walls instead of bridges. And that is where we must draw a line.

We need to rethink our values. We need to teach our children—and remind ourselves—that the world does not revolve around us. That diversity of thought is healthy. That real relationships are messy but meaningful. That empathy is more important than algorithms. We must use technology to connect, not divide. To understand others, not just amplify ourselves.

Because if we don’t, we risk creating a world full of “me’s”—each living in a perfectly personalized bubble, surrounded by agreeable bots, and disconnected from the shared human experience that makes life worth living. That, to me, is a lonely and terrifying future.

Picture: Near Chinese Garden MRT station, Singapore (c) Dr. Mashiur Rahman